more assumptions in that post than i could shake a stick at
as for the absurd similarities between kiwis and americans you suggest , america is known for its complaints culture , you point out a shortcoming in service if you see it , in new zealand the one providing the service doesnt want to know about it full stop from reporting workplace bullying to a boss to complaining about inadequate accomodation to a landlord , ive met plenty of people ( irish and other ) who had the same view so dont assume yours is the definitive experience , witness the reaction last november post the ireland - all blacks match when they nearly crippled a few of our lads , the kiwi press were incensed we dare to call them on it , was the same when BOD was nearly put in a wheelchair by umaga and that other guy
Eh? I said the Kiwi's were more like Ozies, not Americans. Ozies have certain traits in common with Americans, ie more like Yanks than Brits, but still very different. The kiwis, in my experience, tend to have more of those awkward Brit traits that tend to rub foreigners up the wrong way. More so that Australians. I've known more than enough Ozies and Kiwis over the years to tell the two apart pretty quickly by body language not just accent. Just like with Canadians and Americans. So its interesting to see how much of it is just the normal range of personalities and how much of it is home country cultural traits. One thing to bear in mind is that when Brits emigrate to that part of the world there seems to be a bit of class segregation. The Daily Mail middle class types tend more towards NZ it seems. The rest more towards Oz. Might account for some of the differences I've noticed over the years. In my experience you are more likely to run into a prickly personality with a kiwi than an Ozie. And when you do its best to deal with them as you would with an equivalent Brit.
Based on your post it sounds like you're somewhere you just dont fit in. Nothing unusual there. I've heard the same kind of complaints in every country I know from expats from all corners of the world. Some places work for people, some places dont. Sometime it just a matter of learning the ropes, getting familiar with the unfamiliar over a period of time. Sometime its just a complete mismatch of personality and culture. If you are so miserable in NZ why not just bail and find somewhere more amenable. Lots of nice places all over the world. Life's too short to waste it somewhere you're not happy and comfortable.